The Who, What, Why and Where I have been

Hey everyone!!!

So dont you remember a long while back when I had first started on my fitness adventure and I told you all (and I quote):

" Like a lot of things in my life I always half start things then never finish. 

Sadly my fitness life is very much like my blogging habits."

Well aint that the friggin truth! Well let me rewind back to 18 days out (my last blog post) and catch you up with all the new happenings... This will probably be a long one but of course it's worth it :) 

So my last post was 10 things no one told me about Competition Prep... but for what happened after the competition is a story in itself... I will get to that juiciness later. 

So... lets start things off on a positive note :)   

So coming up to my competition I got to endure the mighty hell that is peak week. I was a little disappointed in my coach (reminder for those to make sure you get a good one). It's not that he was a bad coach but he had so many people on his team that I feel like I kind of got lost in the dust and had many many unanswered questions come show time. 

Coming up to the competition I still had way more body fat than I should have had. I looked and felt better than I ever have in my life but half guidance mixed with not really knowing when and what to eat left me stuck eating egg whites and spinach for pretty much every meal and dehydrating myself in the process which was no fun because I believe that it was done wrong. Usually during training you up your water intake to about a gallon a day then water load and do a steady dehydration during peak weak. This was not what was done in my case and I am pretty sure that I would have had my body a little better than what I brought on stage. 

Fast forward to the Eve of my show... I got my spray tan on (sticky sticky nasty stuff) and then couldnt shower... talk about torture! Then got my bags packed... check out this list! 

I was traveling out of town so I could not miss a single thing... honestly didnt use half of the stuff that was packed but if I needed it I had it. Oh and the Pee Cup (I see your curiosity getting to you) was so that I could pee through the cup without getting any splashes on my spray tan... I didnt want to be "that" girl lol 

Fast forward to Competition day!! And holy Shit I made it! Loaded everything in the car and was on our way to Sacramento California! 

We Made It!!!! (Me and my Support Sista aka... BFF)

After check in and $300 later I was ready to take my drug test and wait till it was my turn to go on stage! 

Shitty thing is that I was the first girl to go out... and at the last minute they told us no routines because there were to many of us (so my advice to you is to have a short routine and a long one just in case). So with all that mixed together in a happy little surprise... I got really stinkin nervous and rushed through my poses and froze up on stage :(  I literately forgot everything that I had been working on for MONTHS in 5 minutes!!  It was those first time blues.... but I will know better for next time right?? But to make you and I both feel better... even though I totally bombed prejudging I totally rocked my night show :) to bad they don't score you for that! Oh and I went ahead and did my full routine anyway because hey... why the hell not. Here are some photos from my show :) 

Back Stage Getting Ready to Go on!!

Pumping up outside... and calling my peeps :)

Holy Shit Balls!!! Ha ha... so nervous!!

  

So as you can see... I am a little more curvier than the other girls and I took 9th out of 11 girls but you wanna know what?? I am stoked! Because:

After the show was over we took a photo with our teams :)

This was such an amazing experience... and after it was all said and done I treated myself to a Strawberry/Chocolate shake, In-and-Out Burger and Fries animal style and ate every last bite... then almost died cause I felt like a giant ton of poop. 

Fast forward to now... to December 17th 2014 almost an entire year since the start of my fitness journey... and I wish I had better news.

After my competition was over I got a severe case of post competition blues... I was lost... I didn't know what to do or how to eat and no longer had that motivation to go to the gym. At this point I was not sure if I ever wanted to compete again... it was hard hard work and a total 100% dedication that occupied my every thought and was not sure if I wanted to do it again. 

I started by taking a week off from the gym to enjoy some down time... a week turned into 6 months. I have been back every now and again but have had seriously no motivation. I hate to say it but I am back to where I started... I have even gained back every pound I lost. I am heavy and uncomfortable and am back to being self conscious and not happy with the way I look.

It's total bullshit that I gave up on myself. I was disciplined and dedicated and had been doing it long enough that it was now a habit and I gave it all away. Why do I do this to myself... I do it often and it would have to be the single most awful thing about myself. I essentially rob myself of my own happiness by being lazy and having zero determination.  

Now before you tell me "Kaila... dont be so hard on yourself" understand one thing about me...

I am a quitter. Plain and Simple. I know it, my mom knows it, my fiance knows it... 

... and I am putting it to an end! Right here Right now! 

2015 will be the year for me and my success! And I am going to kill it!

-Kaila